So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
