I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
