His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize