didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
