okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
