I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
