you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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