How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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