My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
