Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize