Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize