I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
