How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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