I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need to stop coming to work sober
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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