this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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