nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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