Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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