she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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