Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
