i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
