On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize