well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize