what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
