that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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