Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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