I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
