Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
