I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
