The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
