I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize