We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm having to shit out rocks
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
