I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
