last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
