I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
