All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i think i just lost a toe
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
