Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
