He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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