My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
