There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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