Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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