There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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