Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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