i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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