I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
