Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
