talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize