sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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