i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
