I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
