I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
