last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
