So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
