I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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