It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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