There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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