What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
