yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
