I hate all girls vehemently.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You made out with two different species that night
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
