and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
