so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
