Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
