i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
