oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
