your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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