it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
