my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
