omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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