were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
