Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
